Finding What Was Always There: 'Here All Along' Reviewed

Here All Along is the first book of author Sarah Hurwitz, the head speechwriter for First Lady Michelle Obama and senior speechwriter for President Barack Obama. I've read this book twice now. The first time I read through it, my decision to convert became finalized. Reading it a second time, after having more time studying and wrestling with Judaism, has been enlightening due to the way my opinions and understandings have changed. What was first a lovely introduction has now been a reflection of some of my own struggles and deeper insights into overcoming and processing them.

Here's a section of the inside dust jacket summary:

Hurwitz was the quintessential lapsed Jew – until, at age thirty-six, after a tough breakup, she happened upon an advertisement for an introductory class on Judaism. She attended on a whim and was blown away by what she found: beautiful rituals, helpful guidance on living an ethical life, conceptions of God beyond the judgy bearded man in the sky – none of which she had learned in Hebrew school or during the two synagogue services she grudgingly attended each year. That class led to a years-long journey during which Hurwitz visited the offices of rabbis, attended Jewish meditation retreats, sat at the Shabbat tables of Orthodox families, and read hundreds of books about Judaism – all in dogged pursuit of answers to her biggest questions. What she found transformed her life, and she wondered: How could there be such a gap between the richness of what Judaism offers and the way so many Jews like her understand and experience it?

The book is divided into chapters on designated topics, which read similar to individual essays. Each of those topics is briefly expanded on in this review. The writing style is rich with a profound depth that has memoirs of her journeys in Judaism scattered all throughout. This gives it a highly personal and real quality for someone living in the modern world who's trying to live with more meaning and finds it in Judaism.

The Torah

I've since come around and now understand that the Torah is filled with revolutionary ideas, deep insights into the human condition, and profound moral wisdom.

She starts off with a quick overview of the "plot" of the Torah and the initial reactions to what she found to be, "shocking, appalling, and quite bizarre." Over the course of her journey with learning more about the Torah, she goes from a literal and judgmental stance to the many ways in which the Torah is a window into a deeper conversation on moral truths. A handful of those truths are expanded on from the concept of man being made in the Divine Image, the power of being a human being, care for the vulnerable people of the world, what "chosenness" means for Jews (spoiler alert, it's not favoritism), and the Jewish mission in the world. There is even a look into what might be viewed as the "bad" parts of the Torah and why they're just as critical.

Questioning, Debating, and Interpreting

...from the moment the Torah was canonized, we were already arguing about what it meant.

The core way Jews come to understanding spiritual truths is through questioning, debate, and interpretation. She starts off by doing a brief step back to look at Jewish history concerning the switch to rabbinical tradition from biblical tradition as a result of the fall of the Second Temple. This switch in traditions leads to the writing down of the Oral Torah for the creation of the Talmud, which is a vast body of knowledge who's printings include detailed commentary over the centuries. The "conversation" has continued unbroken, which is incredible considering the level of tragedy and persecution Jews have faced in their history. Additionally, there is an expansion on the importance of continuing this conversation to address the fluid changing of society.

God

All I know is that I touched into something that felt indescribably big and also intimate – something that had always been there, and is still in some way with me, but is beyond the reach of my skill as a writer.

The chapter on God starts with a deeply touching story concerning her first Jewish meditation retreat that she was worried was a bad idea and her experiences during said retreat around a type of Jewish prayer called "hitbodedut", which turned into a profound awakening in her spiritual journey. This is followed with an non-exhaustive overview of different takes on God from leading Jewish thinkers that reveal the complexity of God in Jewish conversation. She finishes the chapter with the struggles around the concept of being a "believer" in God vs denying God's existence in society today.

Taking Action

...in Judaism, spirituality generally isn't something we seek out separately from the activities of everyday life. Rather, it is within these activities that spirituality is found.

The foundational element of Jewish practice is the spirituality of doing. Regardless of the belief in God, taking action is essential. A breakdown of how that looks follows. She specifically focuses on Tikkun Olam, the concept of the mitzvot, the spirituality of bringing the holy into the everyday, and how God asks people to act a certain way. This is a critical piece of Jewish worship as faith is gained through deeds, but it's not always grand sweeping gestures. Bringing holiness on earth into every moment of our lives is just as sacred. The importance of building this practice slowly over time is stressed due to the difference between doing action out of pure ritual versus action as a commitment to Jewish ethics.

Ethics

It turns out that Judaism sets a much higher ethical bar than I ever would have thought to set for myself.

Judaism isn't satisfied with "good enough." A brief take on speech and the power of words causing shame and gossip is her primary example for this. There is then a summary of "mussar", which means "instruction" or "correction", and is about improving your character by developing "middot" or character traits. This is then followed with two core ethical themes for bringing the holy into the everyday. Self-restraint, or the limitations on how we live certain aspects of our lives. Self-transcendence, or how we treat others. Within self-transcendence is something called "tzedakah", which means "justice" and is mandatory as we don't truly own anything. It's all God's. And ḥesed, or "loving-kindness", is an action we take to help those in need out of feelings of love and concern. Finally, she discusses bringing ethics into action through study as study leads to action.

Prayer

Jewish prayer is supposed to touch some elemental human part of us, cutting through our everyday callousness and helping us express our deepest yearnings...to draw us closer to the Divine and transform us into people who embody Judaism's core teachings in our lives.

Jewish prayer is complex. Not only is there a Siddur for the traditional prayers, there are also more improvised prayers. She starts off with issues she has with the Siddur and its content and delves into how prayer is not about asking God for things, but more of a way to "wake us up." It's about moving us towards being connected to others and ourselves. There are different types of prayer and all are important to a well-rounded practice. Cultivating this practice takes time, but it's important to bring a more spiritual approach into prayer to balance out the more traditional prayers. The areas she focuses on are connection to others and ourselves; gratitude, awe, and humility; routine blessings; meditation, and study.

Shabbat

But then the rabbis got ahold of Shabbat and seem to have lost their collective minds.

The first usage of it is in Genesis in the creation story. Eventually, the Torah lists it as a commandment. Her own journey with making it more approachable started off with being judgmental on how more traditional Jews practiced Shabbat to finding a way to practice it for herself that's based on how society is run today. She gives a brief overview of some of the different rules and how the rabbis got into high levels of detail. There's the reasonings behind practicing it and how to ease into it depending on your lifestyle and career as the traditional way of practicing isn't always realistic. She finishes up by going over six significant reasons to practice Shabbat: letting go; fighting consumerism, materialism, and workaholism; having a mini-holiday; connecting with others; connecting with ourselves; and inspiration to improve the world.

Holidays

Jewish holidays also operate at a number of different levels, marking historical and biblical events, teaching moral and spiritual lessons, and calling our attention to the cycles of nature.

Instead of going into each of the many Jewish holidays, she focuses on the high holidays "Days of Awe" season in the fall and Pesach to Shavuot in the spring. There are heavy spiritual lessons of each that she touches on based on their meaning and where they fall in the year. She starts with Passover as it's the founding story of the Jewish people. Shavuot follows seven weeks later being the anniversary of the receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai. Tisha B'av starts the high holidays with the loss of the First and Second Temples. Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year where we begin the process of looking at how we lived the past year. A week later is Yom Kippur as the Day of Atonement where we recognize the limitations of our own mortality and the importance of taking our lives seriously. Wrapping up is the Sukkot harvest festival, four days after Yom Kippur, that is a reminder of how the Israelites lived when wandering the desert in order to remind us to feel wonder at being alive and not sweat the small stuff.

Death and Mourning

...Judaism says: No, actually, you are not okay, and you may feel this way for quite awhile. And though you will slowly heal and eventually find your footing, this loss will always be with you. This will always hurt in some way.

While this chapter does briefly touch on some of Judaism's life cycle rituals, the true focus is on death and mourning rituals. She draws comparisons between how death tends to be treated in today's society with how Judaism honors the need to grieve for those still living. She goes into a basic overview of the various steps for preparing the deceased for burial, guarding the deceased until burial, the funeral, and caring for those in mourning through sitting Shiva. There's an in depth look at the Mourner's Kaddish with the various potential meanings behind it. She wraps up the chapter with a look at different types of theories for after we die along with her own personal processing of these theories.

Final Thoughts

As an introductory book that takes into account the more modern lifestyle, it's fantastic. I love that it is more ethics focused as things like the standard family life are rapidly changing in today's society, whether we like it or not. It's a continuation of the conversation that is so essential to keep Judaism alive and thriving no matter the times. Additionally, the ethical and spiritual truths she discusses have many aspects that can be applicable no matter your religious spectrum. I like that it's not a set "How To" book, but allows for the reader to go into their own process of self-discovery with Judaism. She doesn't delve into Israel as that's an entire book in and of itself, which she recognizes and touches on. Whether you're converting or raised Jewish, it's a wonderful book no matter where you are in the process because there's something in it for everyone.